HOW TO CONNECT MORE WITH YOUR CHILD Part 2

Ramp up routines

Predictability makes relationships feel safe, particularly for young children. If your little one knows that when you get home with him, there is a set routine that is easy, fun, and involves you both, he will usually be easy to work with, and your time together will be enjoyable. Set things up for smooth sailing by drawing up a chart you can follow together (but no stickers). It might include dinner prep, eating, bath, pyjamas, teeth, toilet, story, songs, and bed. All of this routine increases security and safety, keeps your relationship together, reduces friction, and promises you an easy night.

Night-time nurture

In my parenting programs I encourage parents to offer special nurture at night-time. Talk about sunshine (grateful things), storm clouds (challenges), and rainbows (overcoming difficulties) from your child’s day. Ask them what they’re looking forward to tomorrow. Tell your child you love him. Make bedtime super special.

Traditions

Make the most of the time you have together by establishing some simple and fun traditions. It might be a daily tradition of back-scratches before bed, or a fun wake-up song each morning. It could be a weekly tradition like watching a movie and eating a pizza on a Friday night or having a Super Saturday treat each weekend. You could have a monthly tradition like a camping trip or trip to the same special place. Traditions build memories, strengthen relationships, establish a sense of identity (this is who we are), and make life fun.

Balance ‘me-time’ and ‘we-time’

As draining and frantic as life can be, creating a strong relationship with your child requires you to sacrifice your ‘me-time’ until they are occupied, safe, and happy (and maybe even sleeping!). Researchers have discovered that parents who invest heavily in ‘we-time’ usually need less ‘me-time’, and have better relationships and higher wellbeing when compared to parents who disengage from their kids. And the children do better, too.

It really is all about relationships. The more you put in, the more you’ll get out. You’ll make the most of those few hours you have together each night by spending time connecting.

Have a great week!

See you around the school. J

Chappy Cam